Written While in Hiding; Awaiting the Inevitable Fallout
Bobbie Carlton
Founder/Speaker/Marketer/PR Thought Leader/Publisher/Editor-in-chief. Advocating for more women onstage
I've gone into hiding. Maybe I'll emerge in a few weeks. Maybe then the storm will have blown over.
I'm awaiting the firestorm as we announce the featuring of our first male speaker on our bi-weekly webinar series. I'm awaiting the screams of protest, the shouts of "unfair", the howls of outrage and the attacks that will likely get deeply personal. (I'm also secretly hoping that our members and our community are more mature than others I've seen and people will understand why we have chosen to book this particular speaker.)
We believe that we need to work with others...allies...in order to have the greatest impact. Our mission is gender-equity onstage at conferences and events, and all the ancillary business and career benefits that go with it. It's a huge ship and we need everyone rowing in the same direction in order to change things.
Usually I avoid any mention of politics - this country is deeply divided enough without me throwing in my two cents. But yesterday morning I heard an interview with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi where she talked about how other women tell her they won't run for office because they couldn't subject their families to what she has to go through. The personal attacks, ridicule and derision have a chilling affect. And I nod to myself.
Our entire team recently had to spend several hours defending an Innovation Women speaker against charges that she said something derogatory on one of our webcasts. Fortunately, the webcasts are recorded and the transcriptions are made available. We were able to prove that the listener misheard. It's easy to see how - many people listen to webinars and podcasts while they are eating lunch, doing email or otherwise multi-tasking.
But I'm astonished (and then not) at how fast people (and, darn it, other women) light a fuse and throw a bomb out when they THINK they heard something, or jump to conclusions. There's often little consideration for the consequences, or the collateral damage. These situations may make women pause when they are asked to speak (or run for office.)
So now, you see why I am in hiding?
Bobbie Carlton is the founder of Innovation Women, an online self-service speaker bureau that connects event managers and awesome speakers who just happen to be women.
I think it’s important that we learn from all perspectives, regardless of their packaging. Sometimes a white male has an important perspective and we should not omit it just because of how he looks—just as perspectives of women, people of color, trans people, and intersex people are hugely valuable. As someone wiser than I said, any society that systematically excludes the talents of half of its population (thinking gender) is doomed to fail. We need to remember that, regardless of which half we are thinking about.
★ Writer ★ Author ★ Therapist ★ Speaker ★ Sixty and Me ★ BizCatalyst 360 Columnist ★
4yBobbie, you are absolutely fabulous as is your remarkable organization of which I am proud to be a part. Sadly, people's sensitivities have accelerated to the point where the most innocuous can be misunderstood. I am glad this particular issue has been resolved. Just as we expect male-dominated professions to be more inviting, we need to practice what we preach. Brava to you and continued success to you and all of us who aspire.
Chair Emerita at Maine Angels
4ywant to amplify your "belief that we need to work with others...allies...in order to have the greatest impact. (Your) mission is gender-equity onstage at conferences and events, and all the ancillary business and career benefits that go with it. It's a huge ship and we need everyone rowing in the same direction in order to change things."
Business Contracts Administration, 🐾Foster Parent🐾 & Long Island Sound⛵️Sailor
4yCongratulations. Modern women unite with moderate men & supporters that are gender chosen. Shutting out any “group” is extremist & tends to draw further away from listening with an open mind and heart. We, feminist, need to be encouraging of others to listen & help us change things together..though hard it may be in a patriarchal society with too many stubborn, chauvinistic characters in power. My #1 influencer remains my Dad..followed by my Mom, grandparents, friends, teachers, managers & then, society.
TEDx Speaker. Bestselling Author. 100% committed to fixing what's broken in our global workplace | 29K+ Followers | bonnie@bonnielowkramen.com
4yAfter almost 62 years on the planet and 40 of them as a working female and now training thousands of them all over the world, I am crystal clear on a few things. What you experienced, Bobbie, is the default behavior of women borne of iron clan socialization. You hit a nerve. You step out of your "place" every day of your life. That means, my friend, that you are doing something RIGHT. You are brave. Brave women experience fallout and push back and haters, and I agree that we need to break these destructive cycles. I celebrate your courage. Don't hide - well, maybe for a little while to catch your breath, but then come out into the light. You can't be it if you can't see so please allow us all to see you. The question we can all ask is "what are they afraid of?" Here's an article I wrote on the subject: http://www.bonnielowkramen.com/2018/10/03/women-turning-off-the-default/